Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Early Days, Winning Elaina, dollies, cars and dead flies.

Before I begin there is another character trait (Geri says flaw) in me that you should be aware of. I like to stir things up. My dad always told me that if anything sits on the stove for too long, it gets a crust on top and the good smell of what's cookin' can't make it through. So stir it up. Make it smell good or make it stink, but stir it up.

My favorite song at the time was Saturday Morning Confusion. I like noise and chaos. Geri likes peace and quiet. I like to run all over and chase the kids and turn the house upside down. Geri likes peace and quiet. I love lots of loud noise. Geri, peace and quiet. Her favorite meal in a Chinese restaurant is Happy Family. We were made for each other. So in my male cranium, I figured the way to win Elaina would be to tease her into having fun with me. What could be better than having a good time with Dad?

So I formed a plan. I didn't share it with Geri either. No need to as I was sure it would work.

On the first day of the plan, I took the dollies that do nothing and hid them on top of the ceiling fan blades, opposite sides so the fan would not sag. Later that evening, at the perfect time during the movie, I turned the fan on. It moved fairly slow at first due to the added weight but soon picked up enough speed to propel the dollies out into the room. Down to the floor they tumbled.

The dog went nuts trying to get one. Elaina was in shock. Then the "look". Shouting things, friend waving, she rushed over and picked up one and then the other and stomped off to her room. Geri was not amused and I could not stop laughing. Geri reminded me that there may be a special punishment for someone who terrorizes little girls.

So I tried to go and make up with Elaina, but she would have nothing to do with me. So maybe the dollies and the fan were not such a good idea.

In a day or two, I moved on the the cars. Now, remember, she has 220 plus cars. They are lined up in a different way every day. So I just took a few. Placed them around the house in places where they sort of fit. You know, the fire engine by the fireplace, the repair tuck by the broken fan, the ambulance by the medicine cabinet and so on. How could I have known that she had names for each one and counted them every day? And that she would miss them so soon? A hissy fit over a few cars. Geri had to help her find every one. She was still not impressed with my idea. I was determined that it would work and kept at it for the remainder of the week. On Saturday, we were having dinner and the conversation turned to maybe finding a way for the two of us to make peace. Like maybe I would leave her, the cars and her dollies alone. Geri thought this was an excellent idea. Didn't register with me. To prove my point, just before we were finished, a pesky fly was making the rounds at the table. Yes I did it. I grabbed her "friend" and killed the fly.

Oh my cotton, I have never seen a child go into convulsions before. She was up, grabbing the "friend" while hollering for mom to help wash it off and I got a double "look". I would never have dreamed a double "look" was possible. It was very traumatic. Geri was very unhappy. As she helped Elaina wash off dead fly, I heard her telling Elaina we would go to Meijers right after dinner to buy her a new "four pack" of friends. I, of course, loved every minute. After Elaina had left for her bedroom with her clean friend, Geri informed me of the evening plans and that I had better behave and find another way to win Elaina over.

Bottom of the ninth again. No home run. No win. I spent the remainder of the weekend trying just to get back to where I started. No good ideas were forming as to how to start over so I made up my mind to let it lay until Monday and then I would think on it again. Well Monday came and we......oh that's my next post. A long game plan but in the end a home run. I'll tell you how I did it in "The Envelopes". Until then, remember, if your wife ain't happy, there ain't nobody happy.


Joanne Sher said...

It's amazing you survived, Randy! (hehe) Can't wait to read the next post!

Katie said...

This is great...i love your stories and i can't wait to read more!!!